My soul surrendered to the undertow
“Later she remembered all the hours of the afternoon as happy - one of those uneventful times that seem at the moment only a link between past and future pleasure but turn out to have been the pleasure itself.” | Tender is the Night, F. Scott Fitzgerald
Two souls are sometimes created together and in love before they’re born.
In any case, you mustn’t confuse a single failure with a final defeat.
A well-chosen book saves you from everything, including yourself.
Sans Crainte (Without Fear) - Original Poetry by pouringonthepage
Loose control…
Just for one breath,
in these limited breaths
Breathe honestly
Strip away context and shame
The pathological chains that
Keep these secrets bound inside of you
And let the wound bleed,
Let it bleed until it runs clean
Tell me,
What would you say?
And I can see it,
Eyes flicked up to the ceiling.
Gone,
Caught in some orange-lit moment.
The smile that lifts the lips Instantaneously.
The deep intake or exhale of breath
In preparation
A laugh
One I have heard myself do, many times
Coloured in…
Overflowing,
With continual exasperation.
I can see all that…
But what would I say?
And my brave, foolish heart
would say this:
My love is no request,
Nor demand,
Nor is it expectant.
It is not weakened by doubt
It never frames itself as a question.
My love is no form of self deprecation,
Nor is it a simple idolisation.
My love is a gift
That beats along in me
Unperturbed by the fear I feel
There is no way to unattach it from me
I love, in spite of myself.
There is no choice involved,
No conscious effort at all.
My love just is…
It exists.
Though not created in thought.
The reaction is…
Physical, chemical, emotional too
But not a conscious one.
Although my thoughts are often
Guided along to it.
My love is an undampened chord
It resonates… on and on and on
Infinitely.
It transcends my fear and shame and doubt.
It cares little for obstacles that situation dictates.
It cannot be deconstructed by thought,
The way almost all things can…
Trust me, I have tried.
All the talking,
All the crying,
All the apologies and -
Unheard confessions
All the rejection
Jealousy, pain, anger.
All of that,
Cannot change this.
Cannot undo something that
Was never consciously entered into
Never sought out.
My love exists…
It is beyond my control
“You’re trying to leave yourself behind, but you can’t. The more you try to run away from yourself, the more you’ll have yourself with you.”
—
F. Scott Fitzgerald
